I feel really depressed. Like really depressed. Literally, I got up to go to school yesterday and cried. And it wasn't because I didn't want to go, but because I mentally could not handle it. I couldn't handle human interaction, smiling, laughing, conversing, all of the basic means of socializing terrified me. I haven't felt like this in a while honestly. I mean in junior high, this feeling was the norm. I could never handle school, and I would wake up and cry every day I had to go to school. It took a while to grow out of it, but it happened, but now I feel like it's happening all over again. And if it is, then that sucks, because it took years to get past that point in my life, and I don't have years to get past it this time. I don't want to go to college (if I'm able to) stressed, depressed, and awkwardly dressed. I need to be secure with myself. I need to be able to socialize and make new friends and not cry every morning I have to go to class.

Lately, my life has been like a series of "not okay" events. I'm not going to go into details; I'm trying to make this short.  I don't know how exactly to go about making it stop. Like, maybe I should leave myself little surprises for me to find in the morning. Or leave a dollar in my jacket pocket so future me can find it later on. I just want to be happy again.


- Peace out web scouts! (: